Meditation in a Space With Others

I like the challenge of coming back to center amidst real life.

Today the kids are playing while I meditate outside in a place off to the side... and moments after I start, of course there is a conflict. I feel my heart start to beat faster. I notice that I am wanting to make sure they work through it mindfullly—diplomatically. It's the peacemaker part of me. Realizing this, I stay and gently pull myself back to "just this".

Soon after, I hear my daughter mention the mosquitos biting too much and the kids all agreeing ... and again, my breathing speeds up. I am almost already over there ...

Recognizing this is wanting to rescue - I sit, still, and breathe longer exhalations.

And as I am working through this, letting the thoughts untangle and pass by (my mind like the sky), I notice a bird singing -

She’s just steadily singing away while all of this is going on (and all of this, is not much, really).

In our minds though - this input is a lot. Especially if we attach to it. Being mindful is being able to let these things pass through more easily. Imagine how it might change the way we feel at the end of the day. Even if we do not notice how much energy we put into these little moments - they add up. And how does this affect the loved ones around us?

Can I serve by being a witness? To discomfort?

I think about how soothing the birdsong is in the background. Providing some kind of security and beauty amongst the little hardships of the day. That may be enough. That may be the best thing that we can do for others, really.

Do you find yourself peacemaking? Rescuing? Trying to fix?

When one of the children complains of her tooth hurting, I know that she will be okay if I wait a few minutes to check on her. Pain is something that we all face in our lives whether it’s our own physical pain or heartbreak or that of someone we love. How can we hold space for it in a way that is most helpful? Do we tense up and rush to search for a fix? This can even be applied to hunger… fear…

Mindfulness is creating space between. When we meditate we make this easier in our daily life. We are able to recognize what we might be getting caught up in - when we are reacting rather than responding.

So, try this:

First of all, consider a daily meditation practice. It will help automate a mindful response to our urge to do. Next, bring to mind a situation that you deal with on a daily basis that causes you stress. Label how your body reacts. You might say “heart racing” or “tense face and jaw”. Then, place a hand on your belly and breathe into that space. Take 5 long breaths focusing on the feeling of your breath in your stomach.

Space. Loosening up the grip between what just happened and ourselves.